I Know I Shouldn't...
by Firenzie
Summary: The title can be pretty self-explanatory, except I bet everyone has their mind in the gutter. So let me make this clear: it's not about sex , drugs, or anything bad in the least. It's just Sakura's feelings about someone...and NO, it isn't a girl or like


**I Know I Shouldn't…**

By Firenze

Sakura Avalon was rushing to school as fast as she could on her new roller blades. Again, she had overslept, it had happened for the past few weeks. She kept having such interesting dreams at night that she just couldn't wake up; even her alarm clock and older brother Tory were no match. Though the dreams were so pleasant, she always wanted the dreams to end…she shouldn't be thinking about things like that, even if it was her subconscious mind. (NO HENTAI INTENDED!) She had bigger problems, however. All those days she had overslept; she had been late for her first class, history with Mr. Ishizuka (doesn't that sound like the title of some stupid TV show?).

As the familiar building of her school came into view, and also the back of her purple-haired friend, Sakura called out, "Madison, wait for me!"

Madison turned around and smiled. "Hi, Sakura! Hurry up, or you'll be late _again_! Just be glad Mr. Ishizuka isn't here."

"He isn't?" she asked in relief, taking her roller blades off and shoving them in her locker. "Is it Ms. McKenzie again?"

"I don't know. I guess we'll just have to find out," Madison replied, as they walked into the classroom. The substitute teacher still wasn't there, but Rita, Chelsea, and the rest of the girls in the class greeted them, crowded around, and began to instantly share rumors that they heard about their substitute and what happened to Mr. Ishizuka.

"I hope our substitute is really cute!" Rita squealed excitedly.

"I heard Mr. Terreta was abducted by aliens," Zachary said. "They came to Earth in their UFOs and—"

"Whatever," Chelsea said exasperatedly.

The bell rang and their substitute teacher walked in. She was tall and had long, violet hair and striking blue eyes. The boys' jaws dropped to the ground, but she ignored it. "Please take your seats everyone, and I'll begin class by taking attendance."

Sakura sat down in her desk, next to Madison and in front of Li Syaoran.

Madison took one look at Sakura, who looked attentive, and decided to have some fun and wipe that serious look on her friend's face. "Hi, Li!" she said cheerfully.

"Huh?" He hadn't even been paying attention to her. One would have guessed Li was drooling over Miss Kawabe, their teacher, like the rest of the boys, but Li Syaoran was definitely not like other boys, especially having not played a video game in his entire life.

"I said hi," she repeated.

"Oh, hi, Madison. Hi, Sakura," he added, his cheeks slightly tinting pink while he stared down at his desktop. Someone had written L.S. + S.A. in a heart. _Who could have written this? Who does it stand for? _When he suddenly realized, he blushed furiously and erased it.

"Hi, Li," Sakura said, avoiding eye contact with him. There was a very awkward pause. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing!" he said rather loudly, attracting attention to himself. If anyone doubted he could turn anymore red, they were wrong.

Madison smirked. _Mission accomplished. _The rest of the class stared blankly, but Miss Kawabe was the master at pretending not to notice things. However, more observant students realized she had seen and heard the whole thing, and a tiny smile was on her lips.

_He's blushing like crazy! _Sakura thought to herself, giggling to herself. Seeing Li blush such a deep shade of crimson was rather amusing. He seemed too fierce and brave to be embarrassed. _And why is he embarrassed? He's been acting so funny lately. Is it me…is it? Could he like me? Like Li Syaoran possibly like me? _Her thought finally hit her, and she felt stupid for even thinking such a thing. She sighed and propped her elbows on the desk and rested her head in her hands. _That's just stupid to even think that. If Li loves anyone, it has to be Meilin. Why am I thinking this stuff?_

_ _

"Sakura Avalon! Sakura Avalon!"

"Sakura!" Madison hissed urgently, poking her hard in the side with a pencil. "Miss Kawabe called you four times!"

She finally snapped out of it. "Huh? What's going on?"

"Say 'here'!"

"Oh, here!" she said, very embarrassed. Her blush competed well with Li's old one, and the class stared at her strangely also. They began to piece together a puzzle in their minds… When everyone's eyes weren't burning into her anymore, she turned around. "Thanks, Li."

He didn't say anything either, but he blushed yet again. One would have thought it was some sort of disease, contagious the way it had also spread to Sakura.

"Sakura Avalon and her daydreams," Madison commented, getting a few snickers.

Yet Sakura was too busy to care, let alone even hear. Her mind had wandered again, as their substitute continued to take attendance. The names swirled around in her mind along with her already confused thoughts. _Now forget Li acting funny… Look at me! I'm acting like a total idiot! Tory always said people do funny things when they're in love. Wait – did I just say 'in love'? Now where did that come from? No way. No way, I DO NOT like Li Syaoran. I just can't. It's not possible. If I do, I SHOULDN'T! Li Syaoran is just—"_

_ _

"Sakura, I'll ask you one more time. What's the answer to number eight?" Miss Kawabe wasn't losing patience at all. She was actually amused.

"Ummm…?" She was slightly flustered that her thoughts were cut off once again, but she shouldn't be daydreaming in school. Especially about boys. Namely, Li. Especially not Li. She had to concentrate. Getting into her proper frame of mind, she pulled out last night's homework and scanned it quickly. "Uhhh…37?"

"No, Sakura, we're doing history."

"Oh." Her face finally didn't turn another shade of red, even though she had been so sure she was finally paying attention. "I think I know the answer…" As she finally began to truly listen to the teacher, she forgot completely about what she had been thinking of so much. So she never got to find out herself what she was going to say Li Syaoran was.

***

"SAKURA!"

Her head snapped up, as Madison stared at her in awe.

"You've been out of it all day! Now you're playing with your food, and you have this funny look on your face, and—" She stopped, mid-sentence, and followed Sakura's gaze and grinned mischievously. "What are you thinking about, huh? More like, who?"

Sakura never thought she could blush so much in a single day, but she broke all records. Her eyes finally strayed away from where she had been looking – a table in the cafeteria at which most of the boys were sitting. She innocently looked at Madison. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

She still had that odd smile, making Sakura nervous. "You have a crush on a boy over there!"

"Of course not! Madison, you have got it ALL wrong—"

"I know who it is! I'll bet my new digital camera that you like Li Syaoran!"

Sakura sweat dropped and immediately panicked, her heart beating at a pace that certainly wasn't normal. "LI?! No way! He was my rival! I like Julian!" she insisted, but she was fooling no one. Except maybe herself. _Don't I? _And the news spread like wildfire amongst the table they were sitting at, until Rita gasped.

"Are you serious? _SAKURA LIKES LI SYAORAN?!" _she asked in total surprise, but it was said awfully loud.

The entire cafeteria stopped their normal chatter and stared at her in disbelief. Their eyes strayed to Li, who was trying to avoid everyone staring at him, and like Miss Kawabe, pretend he hadn't heard a word. So it all came down to Sakura, whose face now rivaled a tomato, including a tiny hint of green. She squirmed a bit in her seat, chewed her bottom lip, and hardly dared to breathe, like everyone else. They waited for her reply…

"I DO NOT!" she squeaked unconvincingly and ran as fast as she could out of the cafeteria.

"Sakura!" all the girls called, chasing after her. Only Meilin remained, crossing her arms and looking murderous, shooting daggers with her eyes directed at Li.

His act to avoid everyone was clearly not working. With Sakura gone, he now had the spotlight. The boys suddenly burst out laughing and cheering and congratulating. A few people slapped him on the back, but Li was paralyzed. Finally regaining his sense of motor skills, he sprang out of his chair and dashed out the opposite door.

***

Sakura was breathing heavily, almost hyperventilating, you could say. The crisp October air whipped at her face as she ran along steadily, her feet rhythmically pounding on the ground. She was easily losing speed and getting exhausted, making her wish she had the Dash card. The person who _did_ have it was Li, and she was never going to go to him. She could never exactly wait for the girls to catch up and ask Jessie for a piggyback ride. Luckily, she had easily avoided them. Every girl ran to the bathroom in a crisis, but instead, she was heading for the soccer field. Not to mention, talking to herself.

"Why am I feeling this way? I can't! I shouldn't! How can I like Li if I like Julian? Do I still even like Julian? Even if I don't…how can I like Li?" She was back to the dilemma that had almost gotten her a detention. "Why does everyone accept so easily that I like Li? It's not exactly obvious…is it? Wait – could it be true? I know I shouldn't be feeling this way about Li, but – oof!"

Sakura slammed into someone very hard, and they both fell down. She hoped desperately that it wasn't Madison, or especially – "Li!" The last person in the world she had wanted to see was sprawled next to her on the grass, and by his shocked expression, he had heard everything.

"Sakura…" Li said awkwardly. They were silent for a few minutes, until they finally got back to their feet, but then all they did was clear their throats and cough uncomfortably. And they were still pretty quiet, just staring back at the ground, their shoes, anything that wouldn't require them to look up or anywhere near each other.

Li cleared his throat again, and his question seized Sakura by complete surprise. "Errr…it's about – about what Rita said…is it…you know, true?"

"What?!" she exclaimed. "No – I – I –" She gave up and hung her head. "You heard me talking, didn't you?" she asked quietly.

He nodded solemnly, but his face was a deadpan, entirely unreadable.

"Li, I've been thinking about it. A lot. That's why I was so spaced out. And I _do_ like you." She hesitated. "But I know I shouldn't –"

He interrupted her. "Why? Is it Tory? Is it because it's _me_?"

Sakura shook her head and paused thoughtfully. "It's not Tory. And it definitely isn't you. I kept trying to convince myself that you were entirely not a person I would ever consider cute or like, but…that was a failure. I shouldn't love you because – because you're engaged to Meilin! I mean, you love her! Who am I to tear you two away—?"

That was completely not the answer he had been expecting at all. "Me? Love…love…Meilin? Meilin?! Me?! US?! In love?!" he spluttered. He kept repeating the things over in amazement. "_Love_ Meilin? I can hardly stand her!"

She gaped. "But I thought—"

"_I_ didn't propose to her or anything! Our parents set this stupid engagement up! I never loved her in the least! When I came here, I liked Julian! But now…but now I – I love…" Li, who had been very frustrated, ran his fingers through his brown hair, and suddenly quieted. He tried to look away, but Sakura caught his eye, and they stayed fixed like that.

"Who do you love?" she whispered.

Li stared back into her emerald eyes, his own reddish-brown eyes softening. He mumbled something inaudible.

"Excuse me?" she asked.

"I said…I said you," he finished quietly.

"Me?!" Sakura cried.

"Well, why would I? You're not anything like all the other girls. You're different…in a good way. You're special; something about you just caught my eye right when I walked into our fourth grade classroom those years ago. There's this certain air about you, you're just so amazing. Everything you do surprises me, and I love everything about you," he admitted, not blushing at all.

She shook her head. "Wow, I never thought I'd hear you of all people saying something like that. So deep…sweet…gushy…romantic. And that's also partly why I thought I shouldn't love you…I thought you wouldn't return it."

"But I do…"

"So what now?" she asked uncertainly. "Are we – supposed to kiss or something?"

Li shifted his weight to his other leg uncomfortably and took his hands out of his pockets. "It does seem like the moment, doesn't it? So, I guess so…"

Sakura took a brave step closer to him. "Okay, ummm…"

They both closed their eyes and Li leaned over. Time was going in slow motion as they neared each other, slightly apprehensive, but ready for the moment they had always dreamed of. Soon, their lips were only a few centimeters apart.

"Come on, come on…" Madison whispered to herself, ready to snap a picture, her camera set and ready. She and the other girls were looking down on the soccer field. "Just kiss already…"

"LI!!!" a voice screeched.

Sakura and Li jumped apart in surprise, and saw Meilin, with her hands on her hips, staring down on them and nearly breathing fire. "SAKURA?!" she shrieked even louder, in utter disbelief. One second she was glowering at them, and then she got to her feet and ran for her life to the field. "What are you doing?!"

"Ummm…" the two said uncomfortably, but it was quite obvious they urged to yell, 'Well, DUH! What does it look like?!' However, the situation was far too serious.

"Meilin, we were," Sakura began, trying to think of an excuse, but she was saved from the trouble.

Meilin flew forward in front of Sakura, and in a flash, her hand raised, and she stuck the side of Sakura's face with all the strength that she could muster, breathing unevenly. "YOU!"

Sakura could only stare back entirely blankly. Her cheek was burning, but she had endured worse. It was just the nerve of her… _Did she just…did that _stupid, spoiled brat_ just slap me? _She was so mad that the sounds of 'clicks' and shocked gasps coming from the girls nearby were blocked out.

_ _

"Are you okay?" Li asked, tenderly cupping her cheek with his hand.

She nodded, not wanting to give Meilin the pleasure of seeing her hurt. "It just only stings a bit…"

"Okay," he whispered, his hand going back down to his side, leaving both of them disappointed. But when he turned around, he had a completely different expression on his face. The caring, worry, and love was all gone, and replaced by a look of absolute resentment. "Meilin! Why did you do that? What was it for?" he demanded furiously.

Meilin's face was screwed up, half between rage and tears. "I thought you cared about me! What about all those times? You said you loved me!" she said furiously, a few unwanted tears cascading down her cheeks.

Sakura was even more stunned than when she was slapped, because that news hurt even more. _Had Li lied? _"But you said that—"

"I was telling the truth," Li said somewhat mysteriously, "to you, _Sakura_. I NEVER loved Meilin, nor have I ever even told her that I did. The only way I care about Meilin is in that big-brotherly sense. Even if I hate her guts, I have to look out for her." Then he faced Meilin, not even showing a gesture of kindness through her sobs. "I DON'T love you, get it? I love Sakura, no matter how much you wish I didn't."

"UGH! I can't believe you! I'll get you for this, Sakura Avalon, believe you me!" she screamed at the top of her lungs and ran away as fast as her legs could carry her.

Li turned back to Sakura after seeing Meilin's retreating figure finally disappear. "I'd never lie to you, Sakura. I'll always love you."

She smiled back faintly. "So will I."

And suddenly, without any notice at all, Li swept Sakura up in his arms and kissed her softly on the lips. A kiss full of love and happiness, a kiss that was the first either of them had experienced, but one of the best things they had ever felt nonetheless. A first kiss, which would make way for more to come.

Eyes sparkling, Sakura drew slightly away from Li and beamed. "Now there's not a single reason why we won't be together."

Li grinned, his own eyes with a glint in them, but of a teasing manner. "Oh? I can think of tons. There's still Meilin, and Madison to videotape us all the time, and of course, there's Tory—"

She pressed a finger to his lips and smiled. "Forget about them. Nothing can go wrong if we still have each other." Then she lightly kissed him on the nose.

"AHHH!!! I used all my film when Meilin slapped you!" Madison gawked. "I didn't get any pictures of you two kissing! Please, please, do it again!"

"Case closed," Sakura said with a giggle, taking his hand into hers.

"Point taken," he agreed.

_And there isn't a single thing I can do to fix it, if there's any reason at all why I shouldn't be in love with Li Syaoran…_ Sakura thought to herself, a smile still on her lips, along with the lingering feel of Li's pressed against it. She turned to look in his eyes and they smiled at each other again, their hands still clasped together. …_Because I am._

**THE END**

**A/N:** Finally, finally, finally! My first finished and posted Cardcaptors fic after probably 20 some attempts. Strange, though, out of the only one I finish, it has the lamest plot and idea out of my others. Cheesiest and fluffiest also. It just sorta popped into my head one night, even though I should be finishing a Digimon fic (P.S. If you watch Digimon, does anyone have an idea for the name of an evil, venomous spider digimon? It would help!), but should I try to write more, or is it a waste of time? I only write S+S by the way. Now don't mind that this is a stupid title, because it's the fic that counts, right? After all, all the titles of my fics suck. But so do a lot of my fics… Except, instead of listening to those nagging little doubts in my mind, I'll ask you what you think! What else does that mean? Ummm…duh, review!

**Disclaimer:** If you didn't know that these characters weren't mine…I pity you, and ask that you seek help for your sake and whoever knows you. On the other hand, I DO own Miss Kawabe (whose last name happens to be the last name of a part-Japanese classmate of mine) and their supposed history teacher Mr. Ishizuka [which, non-coincidentally (exactly what is the antonym for that?), is also the last name of a former classmate and Japanese exchange student who goes to my school.]

**P.S.** If you think I'm stupid for giving the teachers' Japanese last names, but using the American names for all the characters instead of the Japanese also (like Hinomoto Touya, Yukito, Tomoyo, etc.), well…how very right you are.

Oh yeah, in the beginning, when I said there was no hentai meant at all in Sakura's dream, I just figured I ought to explain that. Her dreams were about her and Li together, and that's why she thought she shouldn't be thinking them. About the heart with L.S. + S.A. on Li's desk, that's obviously Li Syaoran plus Sakura Avalon…but Li was the one who absentmindedly wrote it. As for when this takes place…well, you can use your imagination on this one! Does that clear everything up? Good.


End file.
